Dating… Up until recently the word dating to me was about the equivalent of nails on a chalk board. Each time I thought of braving the dating world it made me cringe. I just didn’t want to do it [insert a visual of a grown adult throwing a childish temper tantrum].
I have never dated what I thought to be the “normal” way. Where two people meet, the male asks the girl out and after going out a few times they migrate to the relationship zone. In the past, I have dated men that I was friends with first (and usually worked with) for a minimum of a month or two before one random event tipped the scales from friends to a relationship. Only once in my life do the norm dating. He was a complete stranger that I met at a public Halloween party downtown but after one date and an attempt at another, it ended. You see, I could never start a relationship with a man that giggled like a 14 year old prepubescent girl. It drove me bonkers!
It wasn’t until I was talking with Luisa two weeks ago (OK- more like whining) about whether I should start to date or not that I realized why I was shying away from dating. It wasn’t that my past wasn’t filled with normal dating experiences; it was because I was scared of being rejected. And who doesn’t? But I decided to make a change this year. In fact, I have already got the ball rolling and changing my mindset which has also spread to other areas of my life.
If you remember during my 30 blog challenge I had a few simple, yet difficult for me habits that I was hoping to incorporate into the New Year. I have already gone almost two months with keeping a clutter free and clean apartment, bought a new working out video and this week, made most of my own meals (not even TV dinners for lunch). I made small changes like using my best sheets (350 thread count Egyptian cotton sateen purrrr) and added a pillow to the other side of the bed, which makes I have to admit makes the bed look a little less lonely. I even went so far as to wax my legs for the first time in about 10 years! While I made a sticky mess everywhere and despite the “emergency” call to mom (possible only through the use of an elbow and non-sticky knuckle) I am still proud of myself at how great my legs look! No need to shave now!
The one area that is still a work in progress is my she-woman man-hater attitude. I have gotten better at learning to accept drinks from men or letting them pick up the tab. This one is REALLY hard for me but I trying to balance my individual-I don’t need a man to buy my anything side with my feminine side that isn’t as dominate. It’s difficult to let go of the feeling of obligation to “repay” the thank you, even though men say they want nothing in return. I can say from experience that many men have expected something in return, even had a guy get upset with me for giving him a hug instead of a make out session as he walked me to my car. While I don’t have dating rules, you most likely won’t find me making out with strangers in a parking lot after only knowing them for two hours.
If you have been sitting on the side lines like myself and have been thinking of jumping back into the game, I found these few articles online that aren’t filled with hokey fluff or rainbows and unicorns but down-to-earth sensible information. My favorite is the first one!
*How to Have It All: 5 Steps to Finally Find Love This Year
*5 Ways To Attract Love In 30 Days
*8 Modern Dating Rules Every Single Should Know
Next step for me – finishing my online profile for Match.com. I have had one before but I never really set it up and cancelled it shortly afterwards…twice. Who knows what kind of funny stories this roller coaster of a ride will create.
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