Dating. Ugh, dating. Well… I’m still learning. I struggle between my heart and my heart, but I forgot what is in the middle – my gut. It was screaming and I chose to ignore it. But the positive thing is I am learning from my mistake.
This weekend I went on a date that I should have stopped it before it even started. Instead of recapping every bad moment and spilling the whole story, I thought I would just pinpoint red flags that both women and men should watch for.
Red flag #1
If your date asks you out, they should have a plan. They don’t always have to have a specific one just in case they wanted your input, but at least a general idea.
Red flag #2
If you prearranged a specific time to meet, your date should arrive to pick you up or meet you at that time. Only exception is if they communicate that they are running late. It is rude and disrespectful not to.
Red flag #3
If your date knows you have pets and they criticize pet owners and how annoying it is that pets tie you down, it probably means they don’t want children either, despite what their online profile said.
****On a side note – to future daters, don’t you ever, I mean EVER, make nasty comments about my dog. My dog was here before you, and will be long after. There is a reason why they call them a “(wo)mans best friend”.
Red flag #4
If your date starts around the standard diner time (6:30-8:30), diner should be part of the date unless otherwise stated before hand. If your date says they already ate when they arrive – they care about one thing. Themselves.
Red flag #5
If your date decides to takes you to diner and you end up sitting at the bar, if they spend their time talking to someone else, run. Literally, run. They are a person who is “always looking for someone better”. Even if they say they are trying to set this person up with a friend. It is not OK to let your date sit alone while giving your attention to a stranger. Same goes for being on their cell phone all night. Again – signs of selfishness and lack of respect for you.
Red flag #6
Don’t allow your date to chastise you on your outfit, especially if you asked what you should wear (due to not knowing your plans). They should compliment you (again, men and women alike) and think you are attractive no matter what you are wearing, despite it not being a “Friday night outfit”. You are yourself and shouldn’t be anything but that. Be you!
Red flag #(oh who effing cares at this point)
As you can tell, I spent the evening with a person that I shouldn’t have wasted my time with (and there are things I didn’t mention). Not that I am better than him – just that we didn’t mesh well together.
I need a man that is a gentleman. Who treats me with respect, enjoys my company, thinks that I am beautiful despite what I am wearing (as it is based on my inside, not the outside) because I don’t need to impress anyone. I am who I am. I want a man that takes the lead – they don’t have to dominate and demand. I am a individual, independent and not a push over. Because when it comes down to it – if you find yourself in a relationship – we have to remember why we fell for for each other in the first place. Before becoming a “we” and an “us”, it is because of who we were in at the beginning. Stay true to yourself whether it is trusting your gut, analyzing in your head, or let your heart be your guide.