So you are probably wondering. Is this a duplicate post? Nope… just realized that The Man and I work better as friends then as a couple. Don’t worry, I’m not upset. Within the same week I also found out my ex fiancé got married. I knew both were coming. Actually, it was funny that after I learned about my ex, I also forgot about it in less than an hour, until someone called to ask me how I was doing with the news. I am happy that he found someone as he is a great guy that deserves it. Same goes for The Man. Our relationship had been drifting apart for a couple weeks so I was planning on having “the talk” anyway. Turns out so was he. It was comical, we got together last night and after pouring me a margarita, he says the words “so, we gotta talk” and the first thing that I do is laugh, get a big grin on my face and say, “Sure, go ahead”. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling since he was thinking the same thing that I was! He just is always the first one to get to the point!
When we tried our relationship again, it was absolute bliss for a few weeks, than we fell back into the same routine. We both were adjusting, not changing, but more like compromising ourselves to accommodate each other. And at some point you want to stop because it gets so tiring, you start to feel like you are going crazy and want nothing more than to feel like yourself! There was nothing bad about our relationship; it just was kind of there, floating along…more like a friendship. So we tried and it didn’t work.
I am thankful he came into my life and is still there. He got me interested in things like sports, country music and reading again. He also was able to open my eyes to view the world in a different way. I enjoyed that I was able to teach him things like expanding his pallet even though I don’t think he found eating as pleasurable as I do!
Since he is still my friend, it’s not like I won’t ever see him again. What I will miss (as selfish as it sounds) is the permanent date. Might have been one of the reasons we didn’t break up sooner. Knowing that I had a something to do with someone every Saturday will be missed. I hate the fact that I don’t have a guaranteed companion to explore and experience new things while still being able to enjoy the company. If I could, I would place an ad for a best friend and it would read something like this: SWF looking for female to be platonic friends. Must like company & enjoy fun activities besides getting buzzed at a bar. Willing to accompany me on vacations & dinner outings. Pleasurable conversation a must! I will let you know how that goes but I think I am better off waiting for the friend store to open so I can buy one!
Now I have to go off on my own again, being a single girl. Why is that such a scary thing? Why is being alone so bad? IT ISN’T but it is always nice to have someone to be with. Maybe I might sign up for SINGLES IN THE 303…maybe… but for right now, I think I will go back to being myself. This means going out to dinner alone, volunteering, getting back to ballet & tap classes and spending time with all of my coupled girlfriends when they have the time. Plus school starts up in a couple weeks so my hours not spent at work will be filled with hours of completing homework and studying. Perhaps I could put together a core group of girlfriends, something that I never have had as they always seem to be males, and go from there. I am also due for a vacation as I believe my last official one was my engagement trip. I have been itch’n to go somewhere, it just doesn’t help that all the deals seem to be for Vegas, a place I have never been however, always a place to go with your closest friends…never by yourself. Maybe I will hit up a beach in Florida or California on my own first then save Las Vegas for my birthday in October. In the mean time, I am going to finish unpacking my box of toiletries and such that once lived under The Man’s sink and get on with the rest of my day… and life.