Enough is enough. I am tired of complaining about gaining weight. I know I have said it time and time again, but this is the last straw. Really… I mean it!
Before it was 5 or 10 pounds, but in less than a year I packed on 30 pounds – none of it being muscle. This is the heaviest I have ever been – including the time I gained weight when going through medication induced menopause.
Over and over, I play the yo-yo game. Easily gaining and losing weight but this time my meds and metabolism aren’t letting me get away with it. Slowly but surely I found my clothes no longer fitting – I chose to ignore it but found myself putting a hair tie on my jeans in an attempt to make the waistline just a little bit bigger to be able to button them, but even then it was not enough. What also didn’t help was the increase in alcohol consumption over the past 18 months (a habit picked up in an attempt to relax after repeated stressful days of work). Yes, I have to say it out loud as there is nothing for me to hide. I drink way too much… and have actually been given orders from my psychiatrist to stop drinking all together. Not only does it make up most of my calorie intake for the day, which keeps those pounds coming, it doesn’t help with treating my mental illness. How are we (my doctor and I) supposed to know if the right balance of meds are working if there is an alternative drug in my system that affects the mind.
Changing my jobs helped cut down on the glasses of wine in addition to triggering the beginning of my weight loss. Since I switched jobs, my stress level dropped dramatically. Surprisingly I lost 5 pounds in two weeks. It is nice not having to work endless unappreciated hours – being hollered at daily with so much tension in air, you could cut it with a knife. My shoulders get tense just thinking about it again. I knew it was the right decision to find a new job – I just didn’t realize how much it would change my health.
OK, back to the plan. I have accepted the fact that I am not in my 20’s anymore… I can’t eat a large pizza and drink a bottle of wine without consequences. There are walls I am up against but I will figure out a way to get through. Being on three medications that “can cause weight gain” not including my birth control. Oh joy – I literally get to be fat and happy! I talked with my doctor and there is a possibility of modifying my antidepressant medication to one which has fewer sides effects and less chance of weight gain. But first I have to wait for my body to regulate after cutting out the alcohol so we know what we are dealing with and can adjust medication from there. Hopefully we can transition after I get a blood test back with lower GGT and cholesterol levels.
Exercise. This part is HUGE! I found a 24-hour fitness that doesn’t induce anxiety. It is open, large, and not jam-packed with people. Even at “rush hour” times, there are at least 10-15 machines still open. My arrangement with myself is to lose 30 pounds in three months. I will go home and let the dogs out at lunch time (as I am not chained to a desk anymore) and then head off to the gym right after work. I continue to eat healthy, lots of greens and lean protein. Luckily for me, Eric does the cooking and is supporting me with this. He will keep up with the eating clean as well as hitting the gym.
I am taking charge and getting my body back. Actually – I am going for a new body. A healthy and fit version. Getting trim will not only allow me to get back into my old clothing, it will help me achieve a different level of happiness. I won’t feel the need grab a glass of wine to relax at the end of the day. Instead I will kick some ass at the gym, come home on a “runner high” and then off to bed.
It will be hard. It will be tough. There will be roller coasting emotions. I will try to find ways out of going to the gym. I will need support. But I know this is something I can do – it is all about the right frame of mind and pushing through it. I look forward to waking up barely able to move from muscle soreness. It will give me the courage to keep moving forward. No excuses. Not this time.
Tomorrow will be my first day of this new routine and with that I will end this post with a Pintrest wall inspired theme of motivational posters. IT’S GO TIME BABY!