I’m not ready. Here it is less than two weeks away from my birthday and the last thing I want to do is think of plan for next Friday. The big 3 – 0 and I haven’t figured out how to celebrate maybe because (on a subconscious level) if I don’t think about it, it won’t happen. But that works as well as my theory of ‘if I don’t put on pants, I don’t have to go to work’.
If you would have asked me two years ago, I would have guessed that I would be going BIG; bigger than my 28th spent in Vegas. Renting out a venue or planning an elaborate dinner party at my house, but instead, I am kind of wishing the day just comes and goes and no one notices.
This milestone isn’t what I expected now that I am here. I was never afraid of this day coming. Many women fear the day they turn thirty, even women with a marriage and multiple babies under their belt. Yes, I’m still single and no baby in sight but a birthday is nothing to be quivering in the corner over.
Maybe it was the lack of family birthdays celebrated this summer that sets the ill tone? Maybe it is the stress of my job lately that I just don’t want to think about it? Maybe it is the fact that I will be at a Colorado Association of Financial Aid Administrators (yeah, sounds exciting doesn’t it lol) in Steamboat Springs Wednesday through Friday and get to spend 3+ hours driving home on my birthday in rush hour traffic?
I’m trying to plan something. I want something fun, but it just seems too stressful at this point in time. Maybe I will postpone until the following week when things calm down? Luckily for me, I have a friend like Luisa to send me ideas and trying to keep this milestone on the upward slope. Paint balling? Ziplining? Bowling? Charity ball? Elegant dinner? Who knows…. The only thing that sounds good right now is a deep tissue massage to rid my neck and upper back of these ‘rocks’ causing my tension headaches and sleepless nights.