Despite the recent Colorado snow storms (the last one dumping 10 inches) spring is upon us! I enjoy driving through town seeing the green grass peeking out under the snow, the buds growing on the trees and higher temperatures reoccurring day after day. I am so ready for spring but with all these beautiful reminders of warmer weather…comes the dreaded bathing suit season… eekk!!!!
I have made a promise to myself (and others) that this season I will buy a bathing suit. I am DREADING this shopping experience! I have not bought a swimsuit since 2003 (I think) when my cousin and I took a trip to Florida. I still own swimsuits from when I was on my high school swim team! I know I know, I need to get with the program, but just the thought of even starting this challenge stresses me out.
Why am I so scared of this, I have no idea….well that’s not true, I know why… Back in 2002 when I did my first round with Lupron Depot, I gained weight, about 40-50 pounds worth. It took dedication, a lot of time and hard work to take the weight off. Ever since then, I have been on the Oprah weight roller coaster. Gain 15 pounds, loose 10, gain 5, loose 15…well you get the idea. I am proud of my body and love my figure (no matter if I am at the top or bottom of the roller coaster ride) but for some reason I am still hesitant to bare my … legs, specifically my thighs. I haven’t worn shorts in who knows how long, I don’t even own any!
I am sure that once I find a comfortable suit and make my way to the pool for the first time, I will be fine but even writing about it right now, I can feel the anxiety building. *Deep breath* *sigh* baby steps… first the suit, then wearing it around the apartment to feel comfortable, and THEN the public pool. Maybe I will have a (couple) glasses of wine…for each step. When I find one I will let you know and post it here. Wish me luck!