Here it is, another weekend and I have found myself with an interesting reoccurring weekend routine since I left my job at the bar; two new habits that I didn’t have a year ago. You see, I have picked them up from my ex and didn’t realize it until today. Isn’t it amazing where you gain habits?
Habit: noun a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself in regularity; an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary
This year I have lost two good men in my life, my ex and my best guy friend, and lately I have been thinking about them and wondering how their life is going. I lost my best guy friend to his new girlfriend and found out our friendship was not as strong as I thought it was. While I don’t know the specifics, I believe the separation was due to girlfriend insecurities but as long as he is happy, that’s what matters.
My ex on the other hand, was afraid of commitment and was still discovering himself which I can completely identify with as I went through it after calling off my engagement 3 years ago. When he did participate in the relationship, it was a beautiful friendship with learning and growing between both parties. One of the things that I learned to love was baseball. I always loved the game but I preferred playing it to watching it. My ex had season tickets to the Rockies and while I went to only a handful of games over the past two seasons, I now find my remote stopping on Root Sports or driving off to the sports bar to catch the end of the game. Not to mention if I am not able to watch, I make sure to check my Android app for game highlights or the current score. Who would have thought?
My other habit that I have continued since the break up is coffee cream and HGTV. When I spent the night (gasp! I know, but that’s what adults in monogamous relationships do) we would wake up, make coffee and watch do it yourself shows like Yard Crashers and House Crashers. Always a lukewarm black coffee drinker, he had fun flavored coffee creamers (my favorite being Cinnamon Vanilla Crème) and now find myself pouring it in every cup of Joe at work and at home. The only place I still drink black coffee is when I go out to breakfast. As for HGTV, it wouldn’t feel like Saturday morning without it. They are my constant reminder of him and how he is not around.
I debated texting either one of them today just to check in; to see how Tim’s relationship with Kate is going or see if Michael ever got consent to have the surgery on his hand. But since I was the one that was rejected… it seems almost silly to reach out. Being friends with an ex has always been a controversial topic, most people taking one side or the other or saying it depended on the circumstances. Here are articles on the subject from The Frisky and Ask Men.
With my birthday next month I am curious to see if I get the standard birthday text, with the additional possibility of being able to start those friendships back up again. There is a place in my heart that misses them and I wonder if they ever think about me too.
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