I made the decision back about a month ago to start dating. To be honest I really don’t look forward to this part of my journey. I know that the process to start dating always comes off as being a tedious task. You have weed out the bad before you can get to the good. It’s getting through those that will make it worth it in the end.
I once vowed that I would have a child by age 30 with or without a man in my life. The one thing that I want most is to become a mother. However school has thrown a wrench in that cogwheel of life and now I have been given the opportunity to get an education. I have also accepted the fact that maybe I will never become a mother but “Aunt Kristen” to every one of my friend’s children (for multiple reasons).
I know I am ready for the challenge. I have gone through enough cognitive therapy to learn what I looking for in life, the person I am looking for in terms of a life time partner. I am no longer looking for a father figure to my children. I am looking for someone that can be my equal in life. A man with a masculine side that also has heart and the ability to communicate. I have dated so many men with feminine qualities that usually I am the one to wear the pants in the relationship. I am ready to play a more “female” role with someone that can deal with my independence and not feel threatened by lack of needing to be dependent upon them. That male exists somewhere out in the world (as I am sure I am not the only one) but it will be a long search in order to get there.
So far the results have not been very good. I have been set up on dates with various men, some of which I have not found attractive due to lack of the ability to have an intelligent conversation along with such extreme cases as them not knowing they were attracted to the same sex or being in an open marriage.
This will probably be one of the most amusing things for you to read within my life in the next few years (besides school). I invite you to take the journey with me, through the trials and tribulations of being a single woman, one the road to achieving both self satisfaction and family, whether by school or dating.